I’ve always wondered when I hear women complaining about how men used them. My question has always been, how can you be used? To my understanding, this concept comes from the inferior perspective that women are docile, and their role revolves around pleasing their men, which is a noble practice. However, it’s not fulfilling hence the complaints of being used.
The Background of the Concept “Being Used” As young girls, women are groomed to take care of others. They’ll be cleaning, washing, and helping their mom with the household chores. Mostly it’s about them offering their services, not being served. As they grow older, this tradition becomes part of their life and spills over to their intimate relationships.
Statistics show that women are having fewer orgasms than men. In fact, 10%-15% of women never experience an organism, a staggering 75% struggle to reach climax. With such statistics, it’s clear why women always complain about being used. So, how can ladies master their sexuality and get the most of any intimate relationship?
1.Know Yourself It isn’t easy to please someone who doesn’t know what they want. So, take time to understand your body and what works for you. Learn about your biology and take care of your lady’s parts. Know yourself so much that you can guide your partner on what makes you tick.
2.Be Upfront and Confident in Your Skin Intimacy is highly psychological for women. Everything that’s in your mind reflects in your action and body language. So learn to appreciate your flaws. Love your body as it is. Speak life to every part of you. Be secure in your skin. When you are confident in your skin, you can bring your A-game without the fear of being perceived as cheap. Why? You know who you are and what you want.
3.Take Charge of Your Sexuality We are givers, but in intimacy, we must give and take. So, be open and talk to your partner if they are not doing it right. Guide them and let them know that as much as you want to make them happy, you also want to have fun yourself. Don’t just engage in intimacy for the sake of your partner; do it for you. If you are gaining nothing from it, you’ll better not be part of it.
The bottom line is when you know that it’s your right to enjoy your partner as much as they enjoy you, your breakups will not be characterized by the phrase, "he used me". It will be a peaceful separation that was worth it while it lasted. So, let go of the victim mindset and take charge of your sexuality.
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