When you start a relationship with someone, your entire goal is to have them love you and be with you. The last thing you want is for your boyfriend to ignore you. If you are texting him constantly and he won’t reply, there might be something going on.
To decide on the reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring you, you really have to look at his overall behavior. If he has only been ignoring you for 20 minutes, there is no point in worrying about it—there are many reasons why this could happen, and your best choice is to just wait it out. When your boyfriend has ignored you for a few days or longer, you definitely have a reason to be worried.
Another caveat is to listen to what your boyfriend tells you. If he tells you he is busy or is going to be out of touch at a family reunion, listen to what he says and only worry if he does not message you again when you know he is actually free.
There are several reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring you, and what to do about it depends on the reason. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just talk to your boyfriend and ask him what is going on. Be patient and try not to push him too much for an answer—if he is going to respond, pushing him won’t make him answer you.
Whatever you do, don’t annoy your boyfriend with a constant stream of texts and voicemails. A dozen messages will only make you seem clingy, and he won’t respond any sooner than he was going to. If he is deliberately ignoring you, you need to figure out what the reason is and then find a way to solve it.
1. He Is Busy
This is by far the most common reason for why a boyfriend ignores his girlfriend. Sometimes, life just gets in the way. Whether your boyfriend has a full-time job or he has a busy semester at school, it is entirely possible that he’s just busy. If he turns his phone off or on silent during class or at work, he might not even know that you have mentioned him. It is also possible that he is temporarily busy with cleaning his house, visiting family members or hanging out with his friends.
All of these things are logical, fair reasons why your boyfriend might not be texting you or paying a lot of attention to you. What you do about it depends on the situation. If he ignores you for weeks and weeks because he is helping his grandmother after his grandfather died, then you should probably be supportive and accept it. If he ignores you because he wants to party alone with his guy friends all weekend, you should talk to him and get a new boyfriend if he doesn’t change his ways.
2. He Hates Talking on the Phone
If you have dated someone for a few months or years, then you already know if he likes talking on the phone or not—and it is unlikely that his likes will suddenly change. If he suddenly stops talking on the phone, then you may have a reason to be worried. If he has never enjoyed being on the phone, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t text or call you back right away.
If you have just started dating someone, it takes a bit more detective work to figure out what is going on for him. You could try to arrange a hang out or date in person so that you can talk. If he just doesn’t like talking on the phone, he should be fine with a meetup and be a lot more talkative in person. If he doesn’t want to hang out in person, he might be trying to actively avoid you. Before you assume the worst, see if he will hang out in person. If he does, then the only problem is that he hates talking on the phone.
3. He Is Thinking About a Break Up
When people think that their boyfriend is ignoring them, their mind automatically jumps to the worst case scenario. At first, you think he forgot to text you because he was busy. As a couple of hours pass by, you become convinced that he plans on leaving you and text him two dozen times in your paranoia.
Should you panic? Possibly. If half of marriages end in a divorce, you can basically bet that most relationships will eventually end. Sooner or later, you two may break up, and he might stop messaging because he is afraid of how you will respond.
With that grim possibility out of the way, we can now talk about what to do about it: nothing. If he is planning on a break up, you have to wait for him to approach you and talk to you about it before you can try to change his mind. Texting him constantly will only drive him further and further away from you. If he is not planning on breaking up with you, then definitely don’t text him about it because your messages will be perceived as being needy or paranoid. While this advice is the hardest thing in the world to do, just wait it out and don’t do anything.
4. He Is Cheating on You
If you are concerned that he could be breaking up with you, then you may also be afraid that he is cheating on you. There is no way to know for sure, and there is no reason to panic over nothing. Like most things in life, this is a possibility, but it is certainly not a guarantee. For all you know, he could be ignoring you because he is planning his proposal. Unless you have other reasons to think that he is cheating, don’t just assume this. When you see him next time, talk to him about how you feel and see what his response is.
5. He Needed Some Space
From time to time, we all need a bit of space. It is impossible to be the perfect boyfriend, the best employee and the most amazing friend all the time. Sometimes, your guy just needs some space. If he is ignoring you because he needs a chance to decompress, let him. When he has had a chance to unwind, he will be ready to return to you and go back to being the most amazing boyfriend possible.
If you find out that this is the reason why he is ignoring you, try taking a hint and doing the same. You deserve a chance to unwind. While he gets his space to relax, focus on yourself. Read a book, give yourself a manicure or take a hike. Once you have both had a chance for some alone time, you will be able to have some fun reconnecting.
6. He Is Angry With You and Can’t Talk About It Yet
This is definitely a possibility. If he is just angry with you, you probably already know this subconsciously already and are just afraid of admitting it to yourself. Think back to the last time you talked or were around each other. If you got in an argument or did something you know that he hates, then it is entirely possible that he is upset with you.
Some people will immediately tell you when they are upset and try to work it out. Other people get too angry to talk. He might be one of this second kind of people. If he is afraid of what he will say or how he will talk when he is angry, he may be trying to cool off first. You do not want to make him talk it out right now. If he is still furious with you, he won’t be able to talk to you rationally. Wait until he is calm enough to calmly talk about the problem. Listen patiently—even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, it feels important to him.
7. His Phone Is Broken
In reality, this reason rarely happens. Phones are expensive, so he might break it once, but he will definitely be more cautious about it next time. With that said, this can be the reason every once in a while. He may have broken his phone—or, more likely, he left it somewhere and has to remember where it is. If he didn’t forget his phone at someone’s house, he may have forgotten to charge it.
In this scenario, you should definitely avoid going crazy and texting him a thousand times. If he actually broke or lost his phone, he will think you are insane if you automatically assume he is cheating or wants a break up. For this reason, it is always a good idea to wait at least a couple of days before panicking. Phones might not break a lot, but people forget to charge them or leave them at home all the time. These problems are generally fixed within just a day or two though, so he ought to answer you within two days if it is a technical problem.
8. He Forgot
Sometimes, people forget. They look at a text or listen to a voicemail and plan on returning the message later when they are on their lunch break. By the time they planned on returning the message, they have entirely forgotten about it. Again, don’t panic. If this is the case, he will eventually get around to answering.
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