How to stop people taking advantage of you or taking you for granted.

Is not good when someone takes advantage of people. When we love people and they’re taking advantage of our kindness and generosity. It hurts, not good when someone truly love taken your care and love for granted.

This is the biggest reason why anyone starts taking you for granted. If you are expressive and told a person that what he/she means to your life, he/she will start thinking that whatever happen you are never going to go away especially when it’s an unconditional love. So, if you think that the one you love is taking you granted, it’s time to rethink about that relation.

Sometimes people lose their self confidence either because of failures or wrong decisions in life. If you will lose self confidence, how others are going to respect you? Lack of confidence gives permission to another to rule you. Unless you won’t show your importance, other won’t come to know what you mean to their lives.

How to Tell if Someone is Taking You for Granted

  • You have always been there in everyone’s hour of need, but when you needed help, everyone is always busy.
  • People around you know how to take a favor, but never return it.
  • You have always been everyone’s crying shoulder. But no one is ever there for you.
  • You are remembered only in the times of their needs, but not while rejoicing.
  • You don’t even get a thanks.
  • More is expected of you, no matter how much you help and pour your life and soul into it.
  • You feel ignored, unloved, unappreciated, and neglected.
  • If you ever fail to help your family/friends/colleagues, it is taken as a personal offense.
  • They don’t care about all you’ve been through to help them as long as you get them the desired results.


1. Stop being a people pleaser all the time
Some people have been mentally programmed with the idea that they ought to make others happy under all circumstances. They try so hard to make people happy that it backfires.

Instead of earning others’ admiration, these people are just seen as vulnerable targets that can be controlled and used. They are not respected or admired. How can one admire someone who doesn’t have a backbone?
Now I am not asking you to be rude but you don’t have to always be a yes man (or woman) to everyone all the time. I had this problem when I was young. I had been brought up with this idea that you should always be nice to people which in itself isn’t a bad thing. But when you begin to over-generalize it and let people use you, it becomes a big problem.

There have been many times where I have had to compromise my own happiness to make others happy. But then I realized there is no joy in making others happy if it makes you depressed.
One of the reasons why people find it so hard to say no is because they are scared of being judged. They are scared of what others will think of them once they change their attitude and stop saying yes to everything.
Well, here is some information for you:

If you are a yes man, they are going to laugh at you and tell others how simple it is to take advantage of you. If you say no, they are going to complain about how you have now become arrogant and tough to deal with.
People are never going to stop forming opinions so why care what they think? It’s not like you got tons of respect for saying yes to everything earlier! The only difference is, this time you are actually happy for choosing what you want to do instead of doing what you are forced to do.

2. You Fail to Set Appropriate Boundaries
Personal boundaries are important for a healthy relationship. Having set stable boundaries means that you can teach others how to treat you, rather than letting them figure it out on their own. If you establish boundaries and learn to stand your ground, people won’t be able to take advantage of you in the first place.

You will finally be able to earn the respect you’ve always wanted. If you want to be taken seriously, make sure you let people know people know what you can put up with and what you can’t. If you find that you aren’t being taken seriously, then you need to say something so that it doesn’t happen again. Be firm when it comes to your boundaries. Yet, you should be ready to demonstrate reasonable flexibility, when the occasion demands it.

3. Through your absence, show how much you are really needed
If you are always available for people, no matter how they treat you, in their minds your value will become cheap. The truth is that your perceived value in the eyes of the person has nothing to do with how important you are to their existence. It has everything to do with your availability for them. The moment you disappear, it is only then that they will truly appreciate your existence.

People who take you for granted are not much different. If your availability to people who are ungrateful is always guaranteed, why should they value you? By choosing to consciously make yourself absent to such people , you rob them of the power they think they have over you.

You also make them value you by showing that you won’t be available for them all the time. People who have some sense in their mind will not repeat their errors again as they will realize how important you are.

4. Learn to say the word NO
For people with a giving nature, it is very hard to inculcate the word no in their vocabulary. You have to understand that there are instances where you have to politely turn down work orders given to you.
There are only 24 hours in a day; you have only two hands and one mind; don’t over burden yourself. Slowly and gradually people will understand that you can say no. It may come as a shock to them initially; some may even hold grudges against you and be upset with you. Be strong and stand tall. Don’t let them whimper and force you into giving in. They will never stop taking you for granted till you learn to say no.

5. Give yourself importance
Know that your life is more important than anyone else’s life. You have to first determine what is important to you. One should not stop being a good and charitable person but needs to weigh the options and prioritize their tasks. First fulfill your own responsibilities and then step forward to help others.

6. Respect Yourself
Stop being so nice all the time. All this while, you were trying to please and keep all the wrong people in your life. You have wasted your time and energy, and have let go of wonderful experiences and people who would have valued you more.

7. Calmly Talk to Them
Calm down and try to get a logical explanation out of those who you believe have been taking you for granted. Don’t get angry or personal. Talk to them lovingly and explain to them about all that has been happening, and that you are valued lightly. Do not start or get into any blame game. This can ruin things that could have otherwise been resolved calmly.

8. Talk to a Counselor
If your disease to please continues, seek help, be it from a true friend, family, or therapist. Give yourself first preference. People may come and go, no matter who they are, but you are your best friend, so stop abusing and start respecting yourself. You might not matter to people, but you should matter to yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect it from others?

9. Be stubborn
If you have be stubborn for your respect and pride return to you, let’s stubbornness apply but don’t over do it. Stop making yourself available when someone you feel taken your kindness and generosity for granted.